Irish Mythology’s Love Stories: Not So Happily-Ever-After

Love stories from Irish myth are filled with drama and authentic humanness. Just don't expect a fairy tale ending.

Here we are in May. I wish you a late happy Beltane (May 1st) and a great beginning of summer (per the Celtic calendar). May also is a popular month for weddings. So, this seems like a good time to do an Irish love story post. Irish mythology has a number of love stories. But few, if any, of them present a joyful picture of romantic relationships.

Niamh and Oisin: Otherworldly Love

One of the happiest couples is Niamh and Oisin. He is the son of Irish mythological hero Finn MacCumhail and a celebrated warrior in his own right. He meets Niamh, a faerie princess, one day while on patrol as a member of the famed Fianna (guards of the High King). The short version of the story is that he follows her to the Otherworld, confronts her father, defeats him, marries, Niamh, and becomes King of Tir na n’Óg (Land of Eternal Youth).

Niamh and Oisin have a fairly happy wedded life, resulting in three children. But, one day, Oisin becomes homesick and wants to go back to visit friends and family. Remember: he’s human. Knowing this is a bad idea, Niamh attempts to dissuade him, but he’s intent on going. She assents but warns him not to let his feet touch the ground once he’s back in the human world.

After he’s crossed to the human side of the veil, he takes pity on some men who are trying to move a boulder and offers to help—as long as he can stay on his horse. But, when he attempts to move the boulder, he falls from the horse, ages rapidly, and turns to dust. Keep in mind, this is one of the happier love stories.

Maeve and Who Rules the Marriage

A marital power struggle between Queen Maeve and her husband led to a war between her province of Connacht and the province of Ulster.

Maeve, Queen of Connacht, is renowned in Irish mythology. A powerful and exquisitely beautiful warrior woman, and queen in her own right of an entire province, was married six times. Her best-known spouse is Ailill mac Mata. He was only her consort, but he decided he should be the ruler in their marriage. She didn’t agree.

But, in an ancient Irish marriage, the spouse whose possessions were the most valuable was considered the most powerful in the marriage relationship. One night, Ailill pointed out that, while he and Maeve’s possessions were nearly matched in value, he had just acquired a prized stud bull. This tipped the scales of power in his favor.

Well, Maeve wasn’t going to stand for that, resulting in one of the most famous stories in Irish mythology, Táin Bó Cuilnge (The Cattle Raid of Cooley). The Queen set off to acquire the Brown Bull of Cooley. The bull belonged to a man in the province of Ulster, and he wasn’t interested in selling it. So, Maeve returned to him with her army to take it. A young warrior named Cu Chulainn, the son of the Irish sun god, Lugh, defends the bull and Ulster almost single-handedly. But, in the end, Maeve, gets the bull and pits it in a contest against her husband’s bull. The brown bull kills Ailill’s bull, then dies from its own wounds. Maeve’s okay

with it, though. Once her husband’s bull’s dead, she’s back to being queen and her husband’s just her consort.

Love stories from Irish mythology would not make good Hallmark movies. That includes one of the most famous love stories:

Cu Chulainn and Emer

As mentioned, Cu Chulainn was a mythic Irish hero and the son of the sun god, Lugh. His mother was the sister of the King of Ulster. Emer was no slouch herself. She was the daughter of a noble lord, Forgall Monach, and was known as much for her wit and intellect as for her remarkable beauty.

Cu Chulainn excelled at everything he did (much like his dad, whom I’ve talked about here).

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Plus, he was handsome, charming, and articulate. The men of Ulster talked amongst themselves and started looking for a woman to marry him off to so he wouldn’t woo their wives away from them! But he didn’t need any help. He set his sights on Emer and went to her father’s castle to win her over. How? By telling her cryptic riddles.

Okay. You might not be bowled over by that, but Emer was impressed. Nevertheless, she was an Irish woman, so a bunch of talk, no matter how witty, wasn’t enough. He was still young and hadn’t defeated Maeve’s army yet, so she told him, “You talk well but what have you done? Go do some heroic deeds then I might consider you.”

Cu Chulainn went away determined win Emer's heart but not yet sure how to accomplish it.

Dad’s Interference

Then a mysterious stranger offered help. This stranger suggested Cu Chulainn go to Scotland and train under Scàthach at her famous school for warriors. The stranger warned it wouldn’t be easy. Her school was hard to find and she didn’t admit just anyone who showed up. But Cu Chulainn felt confident he would succeed in his quest.

What he didn’t know was that the stranger was Emer’s father in disguise. He didn’t want his daughter marrying a handsome warrior who’d be away often at battles—and maybe finding some female comfort along the way. Besides, Dad had already picked a husband for Emer, namely Lugaid mac Noís, King of Munster. He knew his daughter was completely taken with Cu Chulainn and had every intention of marrying him. He also knew Scàthach’s training was beyond tough. So, Dad hoped the young suitor would get himself killed.

No such luck. Cu Chulainn found the school, convinced Scàthach to admit him, and became her star pupil. What else would the sun of a god do? To top it all off, he challenged his mentor’s main rival, her sister Aoife, to battle.

Emer was known as much for her wit and intellect as for her remarkable beauty. And Cu Chulainn was determined to win her heart.

Aoife was an exceptional and fierce warrior and Cu Chulainn found her almost impossible to defeat. So, he cheated. He told her that her horse was about to run off a cliff with a chariot. She turned to look. He grabbed her and put his sword to her throat, forcing her to capitulate. He also got two promises from her. One, that she’d stop harassing Scàthach and two, that she’d let him get her pregnant with a son. She agreed to both.

Once Aoife was pregnant, Cu Chulainn left to go back to Ireland to marry Emer. I leave the judgment of his character up to you.

Denial and Force

Back in Ireland, Emer had made her love of Cu Chulainn clear to the King of Munster. The king called off the arranged marriage. Her dad wasn’t happy and began looking for another match.

Then Cu Chulainn showed up, fresh from his success at Scàthach’s school. Emer was impressed. Dad still said, “No way. Not you. Not with my daughter,”

So, Cu Chulainn left, found some friends, and returned to storm the castle. He managed to abduct Emer. Dad fell from a rampart during the fray and died. So, Emer finally agreed to marry Cu Chulainn.

They were a match for each other, and she was devoted to him, but there were problems. He kept going off to battles, leaving her alone and sad. And, as Dad had suspected, Cu Chulainn had affairs. Lots of them. Which added to Emer’s grief. Even the Morrigan, Ireland’s famous triple goddess, tried to seduce him. He shunted her aside, basically saying, “I don’t have time for you right now. I’m on my way to battle.” It wasn’t a good move, and he would regret it.

But there was only one affair that really bothered Emer.

Emer's Patience Has Limits

Cu Chulainn got involved with Fand, the wife of Manannán mac Lir, the god of the sea (for

Cu Chulainn had many affairs, but he rebuffed the romantic advances of the Morrigan, the Irish goddess of war and fate. It was a fatal mistake.

whom the Isle of Man is named). While his other affairs were just passing things and his love for Emer continued, he fell hard for Fand (whose name means “teardrop of beauty”) and stayed with her on her island in the Otherworld.

This didn’t go over well with Emer, who came to the island to confront Fand. She brought with her an army of women with knives. Fand gave up Cu Chulainn and returned to her husband. Emer and her unfaithful spouse obtained a potion from the druids and drank it to make them forget the whole incident.

Ending Not-So-Happily-Ever-After

But one woman who hadn’t forgotten was the Morrigan. In Irish mythology, she is the goddess of war and fate and a shapeshifter. She loved to shift into the form of a crow and fly over battles, helping her favorites and cursing those who displeased her. But she could take on any appearance she pleased.

As Cu Chulainn rode to yet another battle, he saw an old woman washing bloody clothes in a river. When he asked whose they were, she looked at him steadily and said, “I wash the clothes of Cu Chulainn.”

A bit unnerved, but determined as ever, he continued to the battle. He was fatally wounded. As Cu Chulainn sat, propped up against a stone, slowly dying, a crow came and sat on his shoulder.

A sad ending for him, but even sadder for Emer. She was heartbroken and never recovered.

Áine, the Irish Goddess of Love

Áine, the Irish goddess of love, had such trauma and tragedy in her own love life, she sternly warned her daughters never to marry.

Now, if anyone’s going to have a good time with romance, you’d think it’d be the goddess of love. But not in Irish mythology. Áine had a tragic, traumatic series of marriages and romances. She was used, abused, raped. When she grew older, she sternly warned her two daughters never to marry. They didn’t listen. And they suffered for it. Throwing her hands up in the air, the goddess retreated into her castle and refused to talk to anyone except the faeries ever again.

One final note: “She’s away talking with the faeries” is an Irish expression that equates to “She’s gone round the bend.”

Well, I did warn you it wasn’t going to be happily-ever-after, but I think love stories from Irish mythology have more drama, intrigue, and authentic humanness than the typical Someday-my-prince-will-come-and-life-will-be-perfect fairy tales do. What do you think?

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All artwork for this post (except for the Ukranian flag and the GIF) by Christine Dorman via Bing Image Creator.

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